Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts with the label PTSD

Unlawful

This time last year I was a mess. A complete and utter suicidal wreck, and exactly a year ago today I was unlawfully detained by the police because of my mental illness. I've had a lot of really positive experiences with the police (and I definitely will write about them soon) but it's a year later and I'm still having the most horrific nightmares about this one. I was absolutely trollied on a bad idea cocktail of a whole bottle of shitty wine and 4 cans of cider, so you'd think I wouldn't remember this but I remember every single detail. I was in a bad way because this time of year is a bad time for my PTSD anyway, and when one of my friends called the police because they were concerned about me I was expecting it to be buisiness as usual. I'd already been detained a couple times that week and mental health services had put together their typical lack-of-care plan for me, which surprisingly was about as useful as a chocolate teapot. From the get go the poli

Stop Telling Me My Trauma Made Me a Better Person. (cw sexual assault)

It's a common, and somewhat understandable response. Someone opens up to you about their trauma, whatever it is, and you immediately jump to how amazing they are now. However, I have been repeatedly told that my trauma made me a better person, or that the experience made me kinder or stronger etc. and I'm over it. It's insulting. When you tell me that my trauma made me a better person, you're taking all my good qualities and attributing them to me being raped. You're telling me that if I hadn't been sexually exploited I'd be a bad person. It feels as if you're saying that I should be grateful for what happened to me because at least I'm stronger now. And you know what? I'm not even sure I am stronger now. Or kinder, or a better person or anything. I'm different now, for sure, but that's not a good thing. It feels like my life is one big before and after, and not a day goes by when I don't miss the before. Due to what happened to
09 10